I’m a cheater. It’s something I have to confess if I’m going to share my thoughts on infidelity with you. Cheating isn’t something that I’m proud of but neither do I beat myself up about it anymore.

I’ve been faithful for the past six years and my current partner (who I’m in the process of separating from) is the first person I haven’t cheated on. Now that I finally know what it’s like not to have cheated in a relationship I’m feeling quite reflective on the whole issue of infidelity.

It’s a huge relief not to feel the insane guilt that I’ve felt in the past when I’ve had to live with the fact that I’d done the dirty on someone. The last time I cheated was with during a relationship with a delightful, charming but incredibly complex French guy that I was totally in love with.

You might ask how could you cheat on someone you love – surely the two actions are completely incompatible. I felt that way too for a while but on reflection I do think that just because you cheat doesn’t mean that you don’t love the person that you’ve been unfaithful to. I think it just means that you’re incredibly immature, insecure, selfish and short-sighted.

For me cheating has always been an expression of some frustration or anger at something that’s going on in my relationship. Kind of like a toddler who picks up a glass and throws it on the floor in a fit of rage it makes sense as you’re driven by your emotions to unleash the pent-up feelings inside and its satisfying to indulge in a destructive form of release. Yet once the act is over, as you survey the broken pieces that surround you the implications of what you have done kick in and the fact is that their effects will be felt for much longer than it took you to commit your indiscretion.

When I cheated on my French guy the moment that it was over I burst into tears. I was sobbing and a total wreck because I was hit by the totality of consequences of what I’d just done. For the next three years I kept it a secret and, worse, ended up putting up with a lot of completely intolerable shit from him because I felt I deserved it.

I finally came clean after we spent some time together after we’d broken up. It was one of those amazing chats that you normally only have at the beginning of a relationship. We lay in bed and talked and talked about life, love, the universe and everything in-between. We poured out our thoughts and feelings under the glare of the moon until the rise of the sun. I told him I’d cheated on him with my ex. He told me he’d always suspected that had been the case. He told me he’d cheated on me twice. I said I didn’t blame him and could understand why he’d felt he needed to seek affection and attention from someone else.

I don’t think either of us was looking to restart our relationship but the freedom we felt from being so open led us to try again. Unsurprisingly it failed after another six months – too much damage had been done, too many other issues needed to be dealt with. So now given the added hindsight that comes with having ended a relationship in which I haven’t cheated , I realise more than ever just how much damage cheating causes and how different my relationship with the French guy could’ve been if only I’d been able to communicate with him instead of seeking sexual revenge.

All of this is to say if you’re thinking of cheating just don’t do it. If you’re that attracted to the person you want to do the dirty with just end your relationship and give yourself the freedom to indulge to your heart’s content. If that seems like too drastic a course of action then DON’T CHEAT! It isn’t worth it. Whatever the reason is you’ll end up doing intense damage to yourself. Even if you don’t really care that much about your partner, care enough about your own well-being and stay true.

(1)NE DROP: CONVERSATIONS ON SKIN COLOR, RACE, AND IDENTITY from MVMT on Vimeo.

I’d never heard of Kickstarter before until my cool little sister posted a link to the video on Facebook. The video is about a project called(1)ne Drop: Conversations on Skin Colour Race and Identity.

My interests in the topic is personal, as the mother of a gorgeous mixed race son I’m intrigued to hear the experience of other individuals of mixed heritage. What I loved is the artistic approach applied to the anthropological process.

The slick video is a great tool in seeking contributions via Kickstarter. Take a look and if you’re interested in seeing the final result make a donation to Yaba Blay and Noelle Theard’s project.

So, despite my intentions of hitting the ground running on my return to the Big Smoke I find myself almost as clueless as I was before I left for Ibiza. Except now I’m facing the added pressure of finding a house, childcare and a job. Still, musn’t grumble as having endless options in front of me is something I longed for back in the dark days of slaving away for ITV News. I’m being inspired (reading between the lines, actually feeling hideously jealous and insignificant in comparison) by all these 20-something mums who have babies, run their own companies, find time to write riveting blogs, maintain a social life and still look gorgeous.

It’s three weeks til my birthday so perhaps a good date for me to set myself a deadline by which time I need to pull my proverbial finger out and come up with a plan of action!

I bumped into my old mate Alex Picone and hung out with the delightful Errol and his lovely wife Alex who were the perfect dancing companions. Highlights? Obviously Alex P’s set and getting a rare opportunity to DJ Sneak spinning was pretty cool too.

Basically I found the night, musically, quite underwhelming even though it was my guys acts who held second billing. BUT what I can rave about is the kids room. It is such an ingenious idea to have a room in which you can feel safe and comfortable for your kids to crawl/run around in while enjoying a birds-eye view of a gig at the same time.

Ok, so the rooms are hardly luxurious but it’s San An – what do you expect. With its own bathroom (now queues for the loos ladies) and a full stocked mini-bar I think this might be the only way I roll at Ibiza Rocks for the rest of the season.

And funnily enough the kiddies room turned out to be far more VIP than the designated VIP and VIIP rooms – the family ended up hanging out with owner Andy McKay and his 10-year-old son as well as Judge Jules, his missus Amanda and their too kids – oh so rock and roll!

http://vimeo.com/26332741

On the bill were Usher (in his Ibiza debut), The Wire’s Idris Elba (launching his 7 Wallace project) and DJ David Morales. The special guest turned out to be none other than DJ David Guetta but even better were special guest appearances from Taio Cruz and Ludacris.

http://vimeo.com/26333670

The night was unbelievable, the production – out of this world and Usher? Well, I know understand why people call him the hardest working man in R&B. His energy was amazing – he gave the performance everything he’s got.

http://vimeo.com/26334347

What was even cooler to see was what a great team he has around him – all dedicated to the star but super smart, talented and best of all polite, no diva histrionics to report at all

With just five days to go before the family and I touch down in Ibiza I’ve started to seriously panic about childcare. Oh the joys of being a new mother!

Having had the same fear and loathing about the pre-school vs nurseries  vs day nurseries conundrum in London, I’m now having to face a similar nightmare for Ibiza. Granted my tiny little one will only be on the island for five or six months and, no, my choice of childcare in the Balearics won’t affect the primary school he’ll get into back home but as a new mum you do want the best for your child.

So I’ve taken a look online and thankfully there is quite a bit of information and a number of options out there. Take the well-named Childcare Ibiza site. I do love my baby but with the cost of a nanny coming in at 900 euros for a five-day week I don’t think I’ll be taking up that option.

But perhaps the pricing isn’t aimed at people living on the island full time. Still, if you can afford it, the fact that all of their childcare professionals come undergo a Criminal Records Bureau check and also the Spanish – Certificado de Antecedentes Penales – indicates a pretty high standard.

One huge relief is that, aside from those aiming at the deep-pocketed jet-set, childcare in Spain is generally far more affordable than in the UK. This article by Graham Hunt who moved his young family out to Valencia, explains that nurseries can cost as little as 90 euros a month once government subsidies have been added. That’s mind-boggling!

Nurseries in Spanish are known as guarderias, of which there are dozens in Ibiza. So how do you go about distinguishing one nursery from another? One pretty good guide seems to be the Day-care Association of Ibiza and Formentera (Asociacion de Guarderias de Ibiza y Formentera ).

According to its website, the association was established in 1984 to ensure that educational services and early childhood care have high levels of quality and to protect the interests and rights of parents, users and associated companies.

In the Escoletas section you can find a list of the 13 nurseries and childcare centres which are members of the association.

I’m opting for Eduka in Jesus as luckily it’s only a few minutes drive from our apartment in Talamanca. We’ll go and check it out during our first week there – stay tuned for my report.

To be honest I’m not that fussed about it but am loving the way everyone is wholeheartedly jumping on the bandwagon.

Notting Hill today is a sea of red, white and blue. I thought I’d share with you a few pictures of shop fronts and street scenes I’ve come across. Tomorrow I’ll be gate-crashing a few royal wedding parties, stay tuned!

It totally is the sound of my summers – driving through open roads with the windows down, the smell of pine trees wafting on the breeze. So I’ve just seen that Ibiza Global Radio has release a new iPhone app. It’s great news for iPhone addicts but what about Android users??